deeply  rooted motherhood


"Failure-centric Motherhood"

Updated: Jun 21, 2020

Does anyone else start to feel pale and sweaty when they hear about “failure-centric mommy culture”?

Being a mom is really ridiculously freaking hard, and I know I’m genuinely seeking God’s face as I try to grow through the various seasons, but now there’s this new message from some Christian women who think we should just get our lives together already, and I’m super confused by it. 

Sounds like a leaning towards self-righteous legalism if you ask me. Sounds like the opposite of recognizing our complete and utter disability to do ANYTHING good apart from Christ alone. Sounds like depending on my perfect routines and systems for productivity instead of asking the Father what he requires of me TODAY will move me farther away from looking at Jesus and more towards myself. 

As if there’s not already enough pressure from the world to be perfect, put together, and successful, now we’re going to start teaching moms that as they grow in faith, they’ll be able to accomplish more or get dressed with makeup on every day because they now have their priorities in order and it’ll give them more time?? I’m not sure I can get on board with that. 

I’m afraid that this way of thinking tells Christian moms the same thing our culture says - you can have it all, do it all, and be it all - but simply files it under the label of “sanctification” and suddenly makes it okay. 

If there is ONE thing I know to be true about my life, it’s that my mess displays God’s glory far more than my false sense of righteousness ever has. 

My brokenness has always been more of an encouragement to others than my winning moments because it points them to Jesus, not Ashley. 

Our lives aren’t supposed to be clean and curated, because our lives aren’t about US. The messiness of motherhood reminds us of what CHRIST has done. 

Now, hear this. We CAN walk in freedom because of the Holy Spirit, and we’re meant to! It is for freedom that we’ve been set free (Gal. 5:1). We are not supposed to stay stuck in our sin or complacent in lives of complete disarray (Romans 6), but don’t get this confused with thinking we have to have it all together. 

We’re never going to arrive. That’s what sanctification is REALLY all about. Our struggles are meant to keep us continually looking at Jesus, continually looking forward to the day HE returns to redeem it in totality and complete the work he has begun in us!

So mama, if you feel like a disaster today, and all your lofty goals for creating structure in 2019 haven’t quite landed yet, you need to know it’s okay. 

You can share the hard parts of your life, as long as you use it to point others to the Cross. Just don’t make camp there and stop trying to grow. 

And if that makes me a “failure-centric mom,” I guess I’ll just have to live with it. 


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