deeply  rooted motherhood


The Hair On My Shower Wall

Raise your hand if you wash your hair at least once a week…

Yeah, me either. It’s cool guys, it’s cool.

Other than the fact that it’s just difficult to shower when you’re in the middle of baby land, that postpartum hair loss struggle & regrowth is a REAL ISSUE. Nobody prepared me for the small lion’s mane currently growing around my face like a deranged halo. No one told me how clumps of my hair would fall out every time I brush it or run my hands through it while trying to get all the shampoo out. Please tell me I’m not the only one who sticks the hair to the shower wall to get it off my hand. Like, what else are you supposed to do?!

Anyway, as I was going through my weekly shower ritual, I started to reflect & babble about random things to the Lord as my thoughts wandered, as I often do. I’ve been pretty stressed out about several personal things recently. Compared to some of the trials I know other people in my church & community are facing, these “issues” of mine are small. The problem with that outlook is that I tend to allow the small difficulties to build up internally, never sharing my needs.

But back to the hair on my shower wall. As Jesus and I were talking about some of my recent anxiety triggers, the Holy Spirit brought to mind a Scripture I learned long ago:

"Aren't five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one sparrow is forgotten by God Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. So do not be afraid; you are worth much more than many sparrows!" -Luke 12:6-7, GNT

Honestly, standing there peeling tiny hairs off my hands, feeling their annoyance even when I can't see exactly where they are (you know the feeling!), I was struck by the truth tucked into these two small verses. These are words spoken directly from Jesus' mouth, so we know they're important.

Isn't that idea wild? Like, there's 7.6 billion people in the world, and God knows each of us so intimately that He keeps track of the number of hairs on our heads. I can't even count how many I've lost in the past five minutes, yet He has been consistently been aware of that number, because He is omniscient, and He cares.

Did you catch that? He cares. Even about the "small" things I'm sweating. So, why should I be afraid? Have I forgotten my worth? Do I believe I am more valuable than some birds? Do I trust that God will provide for all of my true needs? (Ps. 34:10, Phil. 4:19)

Yeah, I know, all that from some hair clumps on my shower wall. *shrugs*

Lord, you are Jehovah-Jireh, my Provider. I confess to you that I've failed to trust that part of your character recently. Forgive me for my unbelief. Thank you for reminding me of who you are, and who I am because of you. I have never lacked for what I truly need. You are faithful! Thank you for your loving-kindness towards me, and for the special attention you give to knowing every part of me; down to the always-changing number of hairs on my head. You amaze me, Father. Help me not to be afraid. Strengthen me with the truth of your promises, that I might exude confidence in you for your glory. I love you. In Jesus' name, Amen.

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